A New Vision for Mother's Day

In honor of my Mom, Anne Malone, who is the ultimate mom, and has inspired and encouraged me in ways she doesn't even realize.

It wasn't until I became a mom that I realized I had completely misunderstood mother's day. I had always seen it throught the eyes of Hallmark and floral shops, as a day to make mom feel special, spoiled and adored.  The frustrating part was that no amount of Hallmark or roses would suffice.  I wasn't always nice to my mom growing up, but I was wise enough to realize my life existed because of her willingess to sacrifice for me.  No trinket or homemade card would ever be able to compare to that.

My awesome mom being awesome

I assumed that despite my inadequate gifts, it was an awesome day to be a mom- and that someday I would revel in the excitement of adding a new gift getting holiday to my calendar.

The first year I was celebrated I loved it, because my son was just a baby, and so far parenting had been all sacrifice and very little reward. The second year I felt totally akward, since I had absolutley no clue how to navigate the tantrums. I thought maybe the gifts should be returned since I was clearly failing the terrible two's. For the last few years though, I have really just wanted to go for a walk and cook dinner...which is sort of what we do every other day of the year.

This year, my mom wanted to visit and of course I was excited. I was also immediately stressed because I had a busy week, and a small budget, and I knew whatever gift I came up with wouldn't compare to her greatness in my mind.  But then I realized something about her that I already knew was true for myself...

I realized that once you become a mom, Mother's Day is a day to celebrate the fact that you have children. It's to rejoice that you have been entrusted with the responsibility of raising the next generation. It's for remembering, that despite your complete lack of ablility and qualifications, God thought you fit to care for these specific beautiful people in your house.

There is often drudgery in the sacrifice- the sleepless nights, the poop, the laundry, the stress, the baby barf in your hair, etc.- and its nice that Hallmark has made a booming industry out of thanking moms for that.

The part that the cards eloquently leave out is the defeat. I mess up parenting everyday. I set a poor example by losing my temper, forgetting to do the laundry, and/or not listnening when I should.  Nothing will reveal your personality flaws or push your patience more than parenting, and absolutely  nothing is worse than watching your kids absorb one of your bad habits. There is no “Dear mom! Im so glad you taught me the s-word while locking your keys in the car!” in the card aisle.

What I really want to celebrate is that despite my worst shortcomings, my kids love me anyways.  I want a holiday to celebrate their ability to grant forgiveness as easily as they eat and sleep. The true gift given is that I'm not entitled to their trust, but still they will still barrel down the scariest of slides if I hold them in my lap. The real honor is to look at each one of them, wonder at how unique they are, and realize how much they’ve grown- inside and out.

Lucky me and my boys

Still give her the gift and sappy card. Every mom loves presents, especially if they're given by her kids. Just don't worry that they can't compare.  Give her a day to marvel at the magnificence of motherhood.  Your most meaningful gifts you've already given: loving her, trusting her and forgiving her every single day. 

Happy Mother's Day Everybody!