The Love of a Father

In honor of my Dad, who always encourages my creativity, no matter what form it takes

For Father's day, among other presents, the boys made a list of things they love about Dad. Judging by the list, Daddy brings some distinct things to their lives that I do not. Dunkin Donuts, side splitting humor about poop, ridiculously awesome bedtime stories, and special trips in his truck. Basically, Dad is tons of fun.

I have one child, though, who was a little more excited about Father's Day than the others, and I think thats because he’s had more of an opportunity to experience a different side of my husband

Like Wreck it Ralph, this child’s passion boils very closely to the surface. Growing with him has expanded my patience and challenged my parental creativity. But when the temper erupts, it is not reason or time out that calm him. What he needs is his dad. He needs his dad’s equally passionate love to counter his surging anger.

It borders on the miraculous to me, that the minute Dad is on the phone, a completely new child appears. There is no more angst, his voice becomes gentle, the red drains from his face. Almost instantly he feels remorse and begins  the process of repentance. Nothing special is said, other than, “I love you very much,” and “I know you can do this.”

The best I can understand is its just the knowing. It’s remembering that even though Dad is not here, his love is still abounds.

I vaguely recall this from my own growing up. I can't believe that I not only get to see my husband lavish this love, but I also got to experience it. Even when I was acting bratty. I would fight and scream and slam doors with Mom, but Dad’s voice would change the conflict entirely.

The bible says God is love. And what I’ve had the privilege of witnessing through my husband and my Dad is a glimpse of that love, and the power it holds.  It is no ordinary love. Definitely not in any casual or romantic or even brotherly definiton. It’s the overpowering sacrificial love. It means that even if they haven't sacrificed their life for you they would. That they all ready sacrificed many other things, money, time, and dreams. It redefines the heart of the person who recieves it.

I dont envy the responsibility of fatherhood. Most people’s impression of God comes from their Fathers,  and separating that impression from reality is many people's greatest spiritual battle.  Is God full of Grace? Or judgement? Aloof? Or deeply involved? It’s not fair to put this pressure on dads, but they share the title of Father, so there it is.  

It seems to me like world has a desperate shortage of this type of love. The statistics of fatherless homes are overwhelming, and the consequences of growing up with this influence put a child at risk for all sorts of devastating behaviors. We all want to point fingers and blame people or laws for our worst problems, but the solutions we yell at each other are about as effective as putting a bandaid on a broken bone. People need to know that as angry and devastated as they are there is an equally passionate Father with undying love waiting to restore them. It changes everything about who we are and what we are fighting for. It changes how we treat others, and what we are willing to do for someone else who is hurting. The best thing about this type of love is that its contagious. The more you experience it the more capable you are of sharing it.

I’m sad that Father's day has become a bit of a tainted holiday, reminding more people of their hurt than their joy. But I think sacrificial love is something we can all celebrate today. I hope you have had the chance to experience it in some way, and I pray that, especially if you were hurt by your earthly father, you will come to know God’s love in this way. I pray that it will change your life and restore your soul on this very happy Father's Day.